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Dating Trends to Know About
A list of appalling behaviours (each one a dating trend) with fancy names which both men and women should be aware of in the dating world.
Modern dating has a habit of giving poor behaviour catchy names and then pretending that makes it acceptable. It doesn’t. With every dating trend mentioned, it’s important to remember that none of them are quirks, phases, or misunderstandings — they’re patterns. And once you know what to look for, they become very hard to ignore.
If you didn’t know…most dating is now online which is why this blog is focused on that area. However some of these trends can still happen if you met the person in the traditional way so they are still important.
Dating Experience Disclaimer!
I’m writing this from a female perspective because that’s my lived experience, but it’s important to say this upfront: men and women both do these things. I can only speak from dating men, but the behaviours themselves aren’t gender-exclusive.
This blog isn’t about bitterness or blame. It’s about awareness and I’m writing it because the most damaging part of these trends isn’t the behaviour itself, it’s how easy it is to excuse while you’re in it. It can be extremely damaging to anyone’s mental health and self-esteem.
So, let’s talk about a select few that are still happening far more often than they should.
If you already know these are happening to you, skip to the end for my advice on how to get out of it with your feelings in tact and your head held high.
Dating Trend: Haunting
What it is:
When someone continues to interact on socials after things have ended — likes, messages, or casual check-ins.
What it looks like:
Social media engagement. Random “hey” messages. Surface-level contact with no intention of rebuilding anything real.
Why it’s damaging:
It keeps emotional doors open that should be closed, making it harder to move on. Ultimately, haunting substitutes closure with confusion, keeping people emotionally tethered to something that isn’t actually progressing. That lingering uncertainty is what makes it so damaging.
How to spot it:
If someone still wants access without responsibility or clarity, that’s haunting. Staying friends is not an issue if you both know that’s the score. But if you are questioning what it is or feeling uneasy—that’s not ok.
Dating Trend: Breadcrumbing
What it is:
Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you interested, without any real intention of building something.
What it looks like:
Inconsistent messaging. Vague plans. Interest that spikes when you start to pull away. Plenty of chat, very little action.
Why it’s damaging:
It keeps you emotionally invested without offering stability or clarity. Over time, it creates confusion, self-doubt, and false hope.
How to spot it:
If you’re constantly waiting for replies, for plans, for reassurance, that’s your answer. If their actions don’t match their words—RUN. Inconsistency, in my opinion, is the biggest red flag there is.
Personal note:
I stayed in a breadcrumbing situation longer than I should have because I told myself he was just busy and had a lot going on in his life. Looking back, the consistency I needed was never there and that was the truth I didn’t want to see at the time. I wanted to believe he was a good man. But you can’t make someone something they’re not.
Dating Trend: Ghosting
What it is:
Ghosting is the sudden disappearance of communication with no explanation.
What it looks like:
Messages stop. Calls stop. No conversation, no closure. And this happens randomly with no rhyme or reason.
Why it’s damaging:
Ghosting avoids accountability and leaves the other person filling in the blanks which often means blaming themselves.
How to spot it:
Someone who disappears instead of communicating has already told you how little they respect you. They don’t have the decency to say something or the conscience to care. So why should you?
Personal note:
I’ve been ghosted quite a few times and almost every time those same people pop back up later acting like nothing happened and expecting me to care. Spoiler alert! I don’t! They get told exactly where to go.
Dating Trend: Love Bombing
What it is:
Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with affection, attention, and emotional intensity very early on, before a solid foundation has been built.
What it looks like:
Excessive compliments. Constant contact. Big emotional statements early on. Rapid attachment and a sense of urgency that hasn’t had time to develop naturally.
Why it’s harmful:
It fast-tracks emotional attachment before trust exists. When the intensity inevitably drops, it can leave you feeling confused, anxious, or like you’ve done something wrong, even though nothing actually changed on your end.
How to spot it:
Healthy interest grows steadily. If someone is moving at an emotional sprint while the connection is still in its infancy, pause and pay attention.
Personal note:
Yes, I have had this happen, or attempted at least, but it’s not something that’s caught me out. It’s actually up there with one of the biggest red flags in my opinion, so it really doesn’t wash with me.
I have however known many women fall for this and it’s really tough because you want to believe it so much. It’s an incredibly manipulative thing to do and I’m not sure how these people sleep at night.
Dating Trend: Future Faking
What it is:
Future faking is when someone talks about the future in a way that sounds reassuring, exciting, or meaningful, without any real intention of making those things happen. It isn’t always about grand promises; more often, it shows up in subtle, everyday conversations.
What it looks like:
It can sound like early talk of trips, milestones, or shared plans. It often includes language such as “when we” rather than “if,” and a sense that something is building, even though their present-day behaviour remains inconsistent. Plans are discussed but rarely follow through, or they are repeatedly delayed without real explanation.
Why it’s damaging:
Future faking works because it taps into hope. It makes you more patient, more understanding, and willing to excuse behaviour that doesn’t align, because your focus shifts to what could be rather than what is. It keeps people emotionally invested without requiring action in the present.
How to spot it:
If the future sounds great but the present feels unstable, pay attention. Real intention shows through consistent behaviour now, not imagined plans later.
Personal note:
I’ve experienced this in quieter ways. Plans that sounded lovely, conversations that felt reassuring, but nothing ever really moved forward. Once I stopped focusing on the future being talked about and started paying attention to what was actually happening, things became clearer.
Dating Trend: Zombieing
What it is:
Zombieing is when someone who ghosted you suddenly reappears weeks or months later as if nothing happened.
What it looks like:
Casual messages. No apology. No acknowledgement of the past. As mentioned earlier, this is the ghosters who reappear like everything is hunky dory.
Why it’s damaging:
Zombieing isn’t about reconnecting, it’s about checking if they still have access and revelling in the attention when they do.
How to spot it:
They vanish without reason and come back. Block. Block. Block. If there’s no accountability, there’s no change.
Personal note:
I’ve experienced this as well and I always knew it was wrong, but I was holding onto hope for the ‘good guy’. Coming back randomly and not even acknowledging where the previous conversation was left. Zero respect. Childlike behaviour. Intentionally hurting me.
Dating Trend: Kittenfishing
What it is:
A softer form of catfishing but more about exaggerating or misrepresenting details to seem more appealing.
What it looks like:
Old photos. Misleading age or job details. Downplaying habits like heavy drinking.
Why it’s damaging:
Small lies at the start usually point to bigger honesty issues later.
How to spot it:
This is tricky to spot so I would say to trust your gut. If things don’t add up early on, don’t ignore it. Discomfort is data.
Personal note:
Shock horror, this has happened as well!
Overly filtered photos are everywhere! I use them on my socials, yes, but never on dating sites because I don’t want to be a part of this trend.
I think the lying is worse though. For me, my rule is that one single lie means I’m gone. I don’t care if he lies about his shoe size. A lie is a lie and I won’t be persuaded otherwise.
Dangerous Dating Trend: Catfishing and Fake profiles
What it is:
Catfishing is when someone deliberately lies about who they are online. Using fake photos, someone else’s identity, or heavily misleading information to form a connection with you. This isn’t always harmless. And it isn’t always about insecurity.
Why is this so important?
I know of four different “men” who were intentionally lying about who they were. They were using photos that weren’t theirs and they still wanted to meet in person.
That alone should make you stop and think.
If someone is lying about their identity but still pushing to meet you, they have a plan. What that plan is, I don’t know — and that’s the point. It could be as mild as wanting attention or validation, or it could be something far worse. But there was an intention.
Let’s play this out realistically.
If I didn’t do a video call and just agreed to meet them, they would have known:
What I looked like
Where I was going to be
What time I’d be there
What car I was driving
Where I was waiting
They would have had all of that information.
And I would have had none. The possibilities of their ulterior motives scare the life out of me.
Someone who lies about their identity and still wants to meet you is putting you in a vulnerable position by design, whether they admit that or not. That’s why I always video call before a date. No exceptions.
If someone isn’t happy to do a video call, ask them why. What’s their reason?
Because realistically it’s no different to a phone call. It’s just a phone call with a face attached.
And if they refuse, deflect, make excuses, or get defensive? That’s not a preference. That’s a red flag.
I also think that if a genuine person cannot respect your request for a video call, even after you’ve explained why you do it, then they don’t respect you at all. Simple as that. I’ve only had one person who was very off about a call who I didn’t think was a catfish, but their refusal to do something as simple as this was enough information for me, and I stopped all contact.
Your safety matters more than being polite. More than sparing someone’s feelings. More than “going with the flow”. If something feels off, it usually is. Trust that instinct because it’s there to protect you.
Hoping My Disastrous Dating Experiences Can Help
So, there you have SOME of the trends appearing, and now I’ll touch on what happened to me and how I stopped it affecting me. Much of what I’ve included showed up repeatedly with the same people, particularly David and William (these are not their actual names), just in slightly different forms. And it’s these “men” I will focus on because I genuinely thought they were both ‘one of the good ones’. And I’m not easily persuaded into thinking this.
There were moments of connection, familiarity, and comfort that made it easy to overlook patterns. The talking stages that never quite ended. The mixed messages. The disappearing and reappearing. The sense that something could be real if circumstances were just a bit different. And the big one for me—the talk of ‘us’ which made me believe just that.
The difference between the two of them is intent.
William came across as genuinely confused, someone who wanted connection but didn’t have the emotional clarity or consistency to sustain it. That doesn’t make the behaviour harmless, but it does make it understandable. To add to this, upon confrontation, he was oblivious and apologetic. But guess what? It kept happening!
David, on the other hand, showed patterns that were far more deliberate. The breadcrumbing, the false sense of intimacy, the ghosting followed by re-entry as if nothing had happened — these weren’t accidents. They were choices.
And here’s the part that matters most: I saw the signs with both of them but ignored them for a long time.
What kept me there wasn’t ignorance, it was hope. The belief that patience, understanding, or time would change the outcome. That if I just interpreted things more patiently, things would eventually settle into something real.
They didn’t.
What changed wasn’t them — it was me.
Once you recognise these patterns for what they are, it becomes impossible to unsee them. You stop explaining disgusting behaviour. You stop waiting for clarity that never arrives. And you stop giving repeated access to people who benefit from your understanding but never return it with consistency.
So, lets focus on David — the epitome of delusional dating!
He took me by surprise. I was hooked. I let my guard down. And I can guess what you’re thinking: he must have been tall, dark, and handsome with an incredible job, car, and life…right? WRONG. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It was the loving person he pretended to be that hooked me.
When things started to feel wrong (for the final time), I tried to get closure in the usual ways — conversations, explanations, honesty. But closure never came, because he continued to play his games. The disappearing and reappearing. The manipulation. The testing of access.
Eventually, I realised something important: Some people don’t give closure and they don’t want you to have it because confusion is part of how they maintain control.
So I made my own closure.
The more I watched his behaviour, the clearer his true colours became, and now, it’s like he’s a different person. If I had met this version of him initially, I wouldn’t have had any interest at all. His mask has slipped and he knows that I’ve seen the real him. But this doesn’t say anything about me, this simply tells me that he is one hell of a liar, and a very good one at that.
He isn’t a misunderstood, overwhelmed, nice guy. He is a game player, a master manipulator, and someone who thrives on attention. He knew exactly what he was doing, and intention matters. That’s what makes the behaviour bad. No person with a good heart and good intentions would say or do things to manipulate. I could go into detail but I’m maintaining anonymity and not giving him the floor because it would feed his manchild desires of endless attention. And let’s be fair, he would probably feel a sense of pride because he sure as hell doesn’t have the conscience to feel bad about it.
Once I got my own closure, his emotional access to me ended. The soft side of me he was so proud of drawing out was gone, not because I’ve hardened, but because not everyone deserves that version of me.
Letting your guard down isn’t easy, especially when you don’t do it often. Having that vulnerability manipulated is a harsh lesson. But it doesn’t mean I won’t let it down again. I know there are good men out there, and I refuse to let one manipulative experience change who I am.
Karma will do its thing — it always does. My job was simply to walk away with clarity, dignity, and self-respect intact. And that is more than enough.
It’s usually the nice ones you need to watch
Don’t be fooled into thinking it’s the ‘bad boys’ who do this. In my experience, I’ve found it’s mostly the ‘nice’ ones. The evidently bad ones are out there as well, both men and women, but you’ll often find that these people are quite clearly not the best of the bunch and have somewhat questionable intentions.
One of the things I suggest doing if you need clarity and closure, and if you suspect any of these behaviours at all, especially zombieing and breadcrumbing, is to sit back, watch, analyse, and see actions and words for exactly what they are. Then when you receive the calls or messages out of the blue, you will be able to see it clearly for what it is. You get to spot the behaviour, name it, and hopefully you can then walk away from it knowing that you deserve much more. Detached and happy, making room for someone who deserves to be in your life. This is what worked for me. I decided to intentionally allow it for a while so that I could watch and analyse it logically, without emotion. I won’t lie and say it was easy. It wasn’t. Not with a certain person anyway. But I did it and it made me feel so much better knowing that I had done nothing wrong at all. It wasn’t me. It was him all along who simply blinded me with affection and promises that were never going to amount to anything.
If you recognise any of these trends in your own dating life, I hope this blog helps you step out of denial a little sooner than I did. I hurt a lot during the denial stage with both David and William, and I really wish I knew then what I know now. But we live and we learn.
Be logical. Do you really know this person? How much time have you spent together? How much do their actions match their words? Is it possible that you have feelings attached to hope of what could be rather than what it actually is? I know I did. Remove the pedestal. They don’t belong there.
Remember, clarity is far kinder than false hope and you deserve someone who doesn’t make you question where you stand. Regardless of your gender, it’s not right that any of this happens to you.
Never underestimate your worth, keep yourself safe both physically and emotionally, and don’t give up on dating. The needle in the haystack is out there. You just have to keep searching with your eyes open as much as your heart is.
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